“I’ll give you GhC500 for it!” Egbert said, as he gazed at his Rolex to check the time. He had to take a rain check on his dinner plans with his secretary to attend to this, but was now considering the probability of making it back in time for the date.
“What? That can’t even buy a Tico these days!” Kwame retorted in a somewhat surprised tone.
“Well that’s what you get for trying to broker a deal with such short notice, and frankly, that’s all my pockets can offer for now.”
“No… please, I do understand that the timing is bad, but in any case please look at the family and improve upon your bid” Kwame said as he pointed towards the living room where Serwa and the kids were playing.
“I don’t know why I married this fool! I was warned, but I did not listen. I blame it on love! If only it had not laid its lavendous fold upon my eyes, then perhaps I might not be on the verge of trading all I have worked for, for…for…for pesewas!” Serwa said to herself in a thwarted tone.
It was a Sunday, and typical of an Ashanti family, they had had ‘omotuo’ for lunch. “The soup must have ascended into his brain to cloud his sense of reasoning, or much worse, my husband has been indoctrinated into being a slave of soothsaying nonsense!” Serwa thought to herself.
Earlier in the day, when they were returning from church, Kwame had gone on and on in the car about the severity of what the prophet declared as “the last call” before his prophesy would come to pass. That the world really was coming to an end that night and so they had just a few hours to prepare. Just a few hours to bury the hatchet with his enemies, eat his favourite meal, deliver a valediction to his close pals, and most importantly; to liquefy their most valued assets- after all they would have no use of them after midnight when the meteor hit earth.
Serwa stayed mostly silent through all of her husband’s deliberations. Her nonchalance stemmed from the fact that she had exhausted herself for weeks trying to convince him that it was all a hoax. But not today, she would rather hone in on her own spiritual life and also spend some time playing with the kids. Kwame could do anything he wanted; as far as she was concerned he was now beyond convincing boundaries.
So, with a sunken tone she sang a lullaby to the two kids; Kofi and Andrew. With her eyes brimming with disdain, Serwa feigned a smile as her boys sang along and beckoned her to help them assemble their Lego pieces. She peeped at the balcony to assure herself once more of how daft her supposed ‘better half’ really was.
“Look Egbert, this is a three bedroom house at Kaneshie. Surely any empathetic buyer would offer more than the coins you are suggesting.”
“Ok Ok, enough said. My last offer is GhC1000, take it or leave it.”
“Deal!” and with that exclamation, Kwame signed the transfer of ownership papers and exchanged them for a GhC1000 cheque.
It was about 10pm, Kwame had followed his plan to the letter, the only thing left to do was to kiss his wife goodbye and let himself into a wait of the inevitable. He firmly grasped his GhC1000 cheque as he shut his eyes from the world; he wanted it to be a smooth journey home.
A few hours later Kwame became aware of himself. His pupils dilated as he stared at the magnificence of his environment. It was an unfamiliar territory, perhaps, not even an earthly one. With the air as clear as crystal, doves flying in choreographed battalions, mansions aligned in intricate perfection, and of course; his very feet standing on streets made of gold- he could only be in one place- Heaven.
He barely took another three steps before his attention was diverted.
“This way mister.”
Kwame turned to behold a 12 foot creature; shining as the midday sun with wings firmer than a unipeg’s. It stood upright with a widely opened right arm signalling him to follow.
“I will show you to your very own mansion” the angel said
“What? I get my own mansion? Kwame chuckled with delight.
It was a journey to be savoured, with too many beautiful things to behold in one place.
“I guess Serwa didn’t make it because of her unbelief,” Kwame smiled afterwards.
There it was- they had arrived at Kwame’s mansion. It was everything he had dreamt it to be; the lawn was ever green and bordered by sharp edged hedges, a number of pine trees guarded the path to the main door. And the house itself; it was two storey and reeked of class and affluence.
“Now that’s what I am talking about.” Kwame said as he touched the door knob. With his mind at the zenith of imaginations he opened the door to behold that which would keep him company throughout eternity.
Suddenly everything began to look dim around him, and before he realized, he blacked out. He was only resuscitated by a sharp pain that quickly intensified on his left cheek. Managing to open his eyes, he noticed that he was back in his room. It was broad daylight and the sun’s light penetrated the room through the windows. Serwa stood right on top of him with her face fraught with anger and disgust, she took another swing at Kwame; this time on his left cheek.
“Nobody knows the day of His coming!”