“Hallelujah (16x)” by Kwasi Gyamfi.

Another day, Another Sunday, Another Service.

Kofi Ema was prepped for the day’s service. He was dressed in loose long sleeves and grey trousers twice his size. After just two days, he had lost enough kilos to look the part perfectly.

The grandeur of his cloak and the army of junior pastors that followed was papal-like. It swept the congregation, mainly women, into a huge uproar. The singing band burst into a spirit-filled praise. Members of the congregation danced heartfully waving their handkerchiefs in the air. Kofi Ema observed from the fifth row where he sat.

Prophet OB began the service in style. He called out;

“hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah…“

The congregation chorused with him on the sixteenth hallelujah.

He announced that a new bus had been acquired by the church. Again, the band was at work. The sermon was taken from the book of Isaiah; Chapter 4:1: “In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!”

A train of worshippers approached Prophet OB when it came time for prophecy and miracles. Another Sunday, Another Service, Another bout of MIRACLES. Many fell onto the floor after their foreheads were touched by Prophet. There was an exorcism and prayers for a youngman applying for a visa. Then it was Kofi Ema’s turn; Prophet OB spoke in tongues. He asked what was wrong with Kofi.

A junior pastor bleated, “He is blind”

“Abrantie, How long have you being blind,“ Prophet quizzed

“Since I was 15. I am now 25“

Prophet OB asked for a bottle of olive oil which was hurriedly delivered. He poured into his palm, smeared Kofi’s face and covered his eyes. He started praying, then the junior pastors joined and then the entire congregation followed. After ten minutes, he called out for silence. He muttered inaudibly for another five minutes and released his hand.

“Look at me. How many fingers can you see?”

“Six!”

“Ok. What is the colour of my shoes?“

“Red!”

“Walk to the door and come back!” Prophet ordered.

Kofi Ema did so with believable vigour.

“Jesus is wonderful. Make some noise for Jesus!”

“I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE! I CAN SELL!”一Kofi Ema cried out into the microphone.

Of course, the band was not left out. Handkerchiefs and hands returned to the air amidst tears from the congregation.

“What do you want to tell Jesus?“ – Prophet asked.
“Yesu me daase oooh!“ – I thank you Jesus.

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